


Selfish

by haha_writting_goes_brrrrrrrrr



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dreamtale (Undertale), Character Death, Mentions of past abuse, Nightmare, Past Abuse, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27771139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haha_writting_goes_brrrrrrrrr/pseuds/haha_writting_goes_brrrrrrrrr
Summary: One was selfless and gave everything away, the other was selfish and only he was left to stay
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> these two songs give me Dream and Nightmare vibes and I just so happen to be at the right level fucked up right now to write some angst but still make it semi decent
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1LFi3WKnNE Dream  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niVF9YRh3bQ Nightmare

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.” a lone figure sat on a hill, staring at an old stump. The grass around it withered and as dead as the world around it, but Dream remembered when the world was filled with life and wonder. When birds flew through the air and the sweet scent of flowers spread further from the light breeze. 

Another figure stood beside him, a paintbrush on his back, staring silently at the guardian.

“What?” he asked, leaning forward as if to hear Dream better.

“I’ve been trying for so long, giving a helping hand, a smile, an encouraging word, I’ve been giving and giving so much I fear there’s not much of me left to give.” Dream let out a bitter laugh, sitting down beside the stump.

“And what good is a guardian that can’t give his people what they need?”

Ink sat down beside him with a sigh, propping his face on his hands. “Well doesn’t your soul give you all those emotions to stay whole? Why isn’t it replacing what you give?” 

Dream shrugged. “There's a limit for every soul, mine’s finally hit its own. Maybe it'll refill in a day, maybe it'll always give off this aching emptiness.”

“Ok so emotional support is out, what about your thoughts? You’re always talking people through their own problems and giving advice is that gone too?” Ink reaches over to knock lightly on Dream’s skull, who gives a faint smile in response.

“My advice can’t fix what’s been long gone, I’m afraid all I can give my past mistakes are what ifs and apologies long overdue.” Dream looked around his broken world with a sigh, the bittersweet memories threatening to overwhelm him. If he closed his eyes and let them, would he hear the birds once more? Would he smell the flowers on the wind, hear his brother’s quiet laugh fill the air?

Ink frowned, looking confused. “Well isn’t that supposed to be your entire existence? You give and you give until everyone is happy, that’s what your aura is supposed to help with too isn’t it? You’re the guar-”

“Well maybe I don’t want to  _ be _ the guardian anymore!” Dream shouted, clutching his skull as he shook.

“Maybe I just want to live my life for myself, maybe I want to be able to feel more than compassion for others, why can others scream and cry and live while I stand to the side as nothing more than a convenient tool for others to use?!” Ink gripped Dream’s shoulders, but the words were pouring out now, every sentence dripping with the despairing hate Dream held back for so long. 

“I never asked for this, I just wanted my brother back, just wanted my  _ life _ back. I can’t do this anymore Ink, it’s killing me! I don’t have anything else to give and if people can’t take what they want will they finally leave me alone?!” Dream sagged in Ink’s arms, letting his head rest against the artist’s chest.

“When will they all leave me alone?” 

Ink was silent for a moment. Then he spoke, voice no louder than a whisper. 

“You were never given a choice. Your aura, your powers, every part of you was built for others to take from you. Your story was never meant to be a happy one, was never even meant for you to survive.” Ink held his friend closer knowing the truth hurt but had to get Dream to understand.

“You can try and try to be harder, to be stronger and more selfish and take more than you give but we both know in the end that's not how you were made to be.” Ink felt the tears soaking through his shirt now, it wasn't the first time he saw Dream cry, but this felt special, felt more important somehow because this time Dream was crying for himself rather than someone else. It...felt like a goodbye.

“You weren’t created with the ability to be selfish, maybe if you were you wouldn’t have lost everything.”

* * *

  
  
  


A tiny grave stood on top of a hill right next to a stump. Despite his name being spread far and wide for centuries few mourned his passing. His friends dug the grave, lowered the dusty scarf and crown, a morbid mix of human and monster traditions. There was debate on where to lay him, the people wanted something special, someplace important and sophisticated. Instead he was put in a hill, next to the tree stump he once called home. 

A dark monster stood in front of the grave, a place he avoided for so long but now felt a need to visit. His tendrils swaying behind him, Nightmare spoke.

“You left.” His single eye studied the small stone marking his brother’s final resting spot.

“You gave and you gave while the people took more and more than you could possibly survive and in the end it cost you everything. I take and I take and make sure I survive-no, make sure I  _ thrive- _ off the despair and the hate you tried so hard to soothe.” Nightmare circled the grave, feeling himself growing colder and colder as time went on.

“We fought and we yelled and we pointed fingers back and forth for so long and yet here you are alone in a grave while I have no one to stop me from gaining more power now but somehow…” Nightmare trailed off. “Somehow it feels like I’m the one who lost.”

There’s no one around, this world doesn’t get many visitors, but still Nightmare stops to check just in case. The words start up again, feeling softer and more genuine as the monster lets himself be vulnerable with no one to hear but the dust of a monster he once knew.

“For years I had blamed everyone but myself. Blamed the villagers for their hate, blamed you for your ignorance, everything that went wrong was of no fault on my end. I spread my hate and my anger as far as I possibly could’ve, it was more than wanting power. I wanted everyone to feel like I did, wanted them to know what it was like to have horrible things happen at the whims of another.” Nightmare kneeled in front of the grave, exhaustion creeping into his bones. 

“I pushed you away every time you drew near, made sure anyone who said my name felt nothing but hate and fear towards me. My own boys, the ones who stuck with me through it all, I stood by and let die in the name of furthering my own goals.” Nightmare sighed, feeling the weight of his sins on his shoulders.

“I treated them well you know. Despite what everyone assumed. I knew that having their loyalty was better than having their fear and hate. I suppose they could’ve been like a family to me, if I had let them in,” Nightmare let out a bitter chuckle at that, feeling the sting of losing his boys sharpen. “That seems to be a common problem of mine isn’t it? I let people grow close, let them become someone valuable and precious to me, but I never let them in. Never allow them to see the weaker side of me because I’m afraid,” Nightmare choked out, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“I’ve been afraid for so long Dream, of what would happen if I let myself trust someone. I killed and I hurt and I destroyed every good thing I came across because I couldn’t stand the idea of someone looking at everything I am and using it against me. I let my boys, good monsters dealt a horrible life, die in my name. I let you waste your entire life trying to fix what I have done, trying to fix a balance I was constantly upsetting.” Nightmare buried his skull in his arms, the guilt tearing him apart as easily as any knife could have. 

“I was selfish,” he whispered, nothing more than a husk of grief brought down by his own hands. “And it lost me everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> kinda a vent piece so sorry if it jumps around everywhere


End file.
